For families stepping into ABA therapy for the first time, that initial intake meeting can feel overwhelming. There are forms to fill out, assessments to complete, and questions, lots of them.
But behind all of that paperwork is a parent who may be anxious, hopeful, or unsure, and a child who needs support. This is where compassionate care in behavior analytic treatment truly begins.
At its core, compassionate ABA isn’t about softening expectations; it’s about meeting families where they are at. The intake meeting isn’t just a clinical step; it’s a human interaction that sets the tone for everything that follows. It’s your first opportunity to build a foundation of trust, collaboration, and empathy. So, how do we ensure that our intake process reflects this?
Lead with Listening
Before diving into assessments or explaining how to collect ABC behavior data, take time to simply listen. Ask open-ended questions like:
- “What led you to seek out ABA?”
- “What are your hopes for your child’s future?”
- “What do you want us to understand about your child?”
You may be an expert in behavioral analytic principles, but parents are the experts on their child. Giving them space to speak and listening with your full attention shows that this partnership is one of mutual respect.
Listening is one of the most powerful examples of compassionate care in action. It’s a simple way to validate parents’ feelings, reduce defensiveness, and show that this isn’t just a clinical process, it’s personal.
The Kindness Method is a philosophy rooted in integrating empathy and warmth into every interaction, not as an afterthought but as the guiding approach in ABA.
Developed by Dr. Anika Hoybjerg, this framework empowers providers to build genuine connections and support real growth. Learn more about this approach here.
Be Transparent & Human
Families often walk into that first meeting with a limited understanding of ABA. And unfortunately, ABA sometimes carries misunderstandings or stigma. Part of compassionate care ABA training includes helping professionals learn how to explain our methods in a clear, approachable way.
When introducing concepts like reinforcement or data collection, avoid jargon. Instead of saying “We’ll be using a variable ratio reinforcement schedule,” try, “We’ll find out what your child enjoys and use that to help build new skills.”
Being honest about the process, the time commitment, and what goals can be expected over time also sets realistic expectations and shows respect.
It’s okay to let your personality show, too. A warm smile, relaxed posture, and a genuine tone all help make the interaction feel less clinical. These small details go a long way in building rapport with parents in ABA.
Prioritize Relationship Over Paperwork
Yes, there’s paperwork to get through. However, leading with relationship over red tape makes a big difference. If a child walks in while you’re talking with their parent, take a moment to acknowledge them. Greet them by name. Offer a toy, a high-five, or even just a smile. Remember to put away the computer; try not to talk to a parent with a screen in between.
These gestures might seem minor, but they’re key to building rapport and relationships in ABA therapy. They communicate to the family, “We see your child as a person, not a project.”
You can always circle back to forms and checklists. The impression you make in the first 10 minutes will be remembered far longer.
Using the ABCs of Behavior with Kindness
The ABCs of behavior analysis – Antecedent, Behavior, Consequence –give us a framework for understanding why behaviors happen. But how we use this tool matters. By approaching the ABCs with compassion, we look beyond “what’s going wrong” and instead seek to understand what the individual is communicating. This perspective helps us respond with empathy, create supportive environments, and build strategies that honor each child’s needs while encouraging meaningful growth.
Reframing behavior as communication helps shift the conversation from blame to understanding. Instead of saying, “He throws things when he doesn’t get his way,” help parents consider, “He may be feeling overwhelmed or unsure how to ask for help.”
This gentle reframing is part of the compassionate care model of ABA and helps everyone stay focused on solutions, not shame.
Build Rapport Through Shared Goals
One of the most effective rapport-building activities in therapy is goal-setting with the family, not just for them. Invite parents to share what independence looks like for their child, what routines they’d like support with, and what behaviors they’d like to see strengthened.
Collaboratively building goals not only empowers families but also increases buy-in. It transforms the intake from a one-sided evaluation to a shared mission.
You can even include the child in this process as much as possible. Let them help pick a preferred reward or activity. Providing them with a small choice early on (such as selecting a toy or sticker) reinforces autonomy and helps build rapport in ABA therapy.
The Kindness Method is a philosophy rooted in integrating empathy and warmth into every interaction, not as an afterthought but as the guiding approach in ABA.
Developed by Dr. Anika Hoybjerg, this framework empowers providers to build genuine connections and support real growth. Learn more about this approach here.
Follow Up with Compassion
The intake doesn’t end when the paperwork is signed. A compassionate approach includes thoughtful follow-up. A quick email or call a few days later to check in shows you care – and helps keep families engaged.
This continued connection is part of compassionate care in behavior analytic treatment. When families feel supported from the start, they’re more likely to stay committed and remain open to collaboration along the way.
The intake process sets the tone for everything that comes after. By slowing down, leading with empathy, and making space for connection, we can transform the intake process from a routine task into a meaningful relationship builder. Genuine compassion ABA starts here – not just in how we treat behavior, but in how we treat people.