Teaching social skills has always been vital to supporting learners with autism or other developmental challenges. But how can we go beyond teaching basic do’s and don’ts to truly help learners grow socially in a way that is authentic and meaningful to them? One approach gaining traction is using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to develop social skills through a values-driven framework.
ACT emphasizes building psychological flexibility, a key skill for learners and anyone navigating life’s challenges. Unlike traditional reinforcement-based systems, ACT supports learners in connecting their actions to what truly matters to them, allowing for deeper personal growth. Here’s an exploration of how ACT can transform the way we teach social skills, along with practical tools you can start using today.
Moving Beyond Reinforcement to Values-Based Teaching
For years, social skills instruction often relied on reinforcement systems. For instance, teaching behaviors like taking turns or raising a hand often involved tokens, points, or even edibles as reinforcers.
While those strategies can encourage foundational behaviors, they don’t always help learners understand why these behaviors matter beyond the external tangible reinforcer. ACT shifts the focus to identifying and working toward intrinsic values.
For example, rather than teaching a student to share a toy to earn a token, ACT helps connect sharing to the value of building friendships. It’s not just about performing a behavior because “it’s the right thing to do” or someone said so. Instead, it’s about tapping into what a learner finds meaningful and using that as motivation.
The Role of Psychological Flexibility
A central goal of ACT is to build psychological flexibility, which helps people respond to challenges with adaptability rather than rigidity. This is particularly relevant for learners with autism, who may struggle with change or uncertainty. Psychological flexibility is developed across six core processes from ACT’s hexaflex model:
- Acceptance: Learning to face uncomfortable emotions rather than avoiding them.
- Defusion: Viewing thoughts as just thoughts rather than absolute truths.
- Present Moment Awareness: Focusing on “here and now” rather than future worries or past regrets.
- Self-as-Context: Understanding that our sense of self is broader than singular thoughts or experiences.
- Committed Action: Taking steps aligned with personal values, even when hard.
- Values: Connecting behavior to what truly matters in life.
For example, many learners struggle with frustration when plans change. Teaching them to accept the change (instead of resisting it) and stay grounded in the present moment can decrease emotional outbursts and build resilience. Over time, they learn to see these moments not as barriers, but as opportunities to act in ways that align with their goals and values.
Tools to Bring ACT into Social Skills Sessions
The AIM Curriculum
One effective way to implement ACT in social skills instruction is through the AIM Curriculum, developed by Mark Dixon and Dana Paliliunas. AIM integrates mindfulness, ACT, and Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) to teach psychological flexibility in structured, practical ways.
AIM organizes lessons around the six dimensions of the ACT hexaflex, giving educators a step-by-step way to guide learners through activities that connect to values. For instance, a session might focus on diffusing negative self-talk (like “I’m bad at making friends”) so the learner can build confidence and commit to engaging with peers.
Educators using AIM often adapt the materials for various age groups and learners’ unique needs, creating a personalized approach to social skills development. For classrooms or group settings, AIM can also serve as a springboard for broader discussions about values and mindfulness.
The DNAV Framework
Another valuable tool is the DNAV framework, which stands for Discoverer, Noticer, Advisor, and Values. It’s a simple and engaging way to teach learners how to identify feelings, recognize inner voices, and take actions guided by their values.
- The Discoverer encourages learners to try new things and step out of their comfort zone. This builds flexibility and a willingness to explore.
- The Noticer helps learners pay attention to their emotions, physical sensations, and surroundings in the moment.
- The Advisor teaches learners to recognize the “voice” in their head offering advice or judgments, which may not always be helpful.
- Values tie it all together, guiding actions toward what the learner finds meaningful.
For example, a child might learn to recognize when their “Advisor” is convincing them to avoid social interactions out of fear of rejection. They can label this thought using mindfulness activities without letting it dictate their behavior. By connecting with their value (e.g., “I want to make friends”), they can take small, meaningful steps toward connecting with peers, such as inviting a friend to play a video game.
3 Practical Examples from ACT-Based Social Skills Training
Values-driven teaching is not just theoretical; it comes to life in small, everyday actions. Here are some examples of how ACT can positively impact learners:
1. Making Hard Choices Easier
A teenager values making friends but often finds it easier to play video games alone. By identifying this value, educators can guide the learner to take committed action, such as inviting a peer to join them in a multiplayer game. They might reflect, “It’s hard to ask someone, but how would you feel if it worked out?”
2. Addressing Rigidity
A younger learner might struggle with sensory discomfort when trying new activities. They learn to notice and accept these sensations through mindfulness exercises without letting them dictate their actions. Over time, they may grow more willing to engage with peers in different settings.
3. Supporting Self-Awareness in Group Settings
Social skills groups often involve role-playing or structured games to facilitate learning. Incorporating DNAV principles allows facilitators to teach mindfulness, self-awareness, and perspective-taking skills, helping learners become more attuned to their and others’ experiences during social interactions.
How to Adapt to Diverse Learner Needs
ACT is flexible and can be tailored for learners of all ages and skill levels. Some younger learners might rely more on tangible reinforcements, and that’s okay. Meeting learners where they are is important while gradually introducing values-based concepts. Over time, even small shifts in language and approach can lead to deeper engagement and greater autonomy.
For older learners or those with advanced language skills, discussions about values become especially powerful. They can articulate why they’re working toward certain goals and reflect on how these actions align with their broader aspirations. Educators can model this process, turning moments of frustration or resistance into teachable opportunities.
Teaching social skills through ACT is about more than just helping learners get along with others. It’s about helping them connect their actions to their values, fostering resilience, and empowering them to face challenges with flexibility and courage. By integrating tools such as the AIM curriculum and DNAV framework, educators can create meaningful lessons that teach social behaviors and foster personal growth.
When we help learners identify what they truly care about and provide them with strategies to act on those values, we move from simply teaching skills to supporting meaningful, lasting change in their lives. Whether it’s making a new friend, managing frustration, or simply feeling more confident in social settings, ACT opens doors for learners to succeed on their own terms. By focusing on values instead of just reinforcement, we prepare our students not only to exhibit social behaviors but to truly embody them.