Life can be a whirlwind, can’t it? Between work, family, and the endless to-do lists, it’s easy for both adults and children to feel overwhelmed. But imagine if we had tools to bring moments of calm into the chaos – not only for ourselves but also for the learners in our lives.
The foundation of teaching relaxation techniques lies in mindfulness, and as practitioners of Applied Behavior Analysis, we can teach these skills in thoughtful, effective ways. Relaxation techniques can help children regulate their emotions, stay calm during stress, and develop better coping mechanisms for challenging situations.
With the right strategies, these techniques can be taught through ABA principles and practiced both proactively and reactively. Here’s a guide for parents and professionals to incorporate relaxation into a learner’s routine, ensuring the process is meaningful and, most importantly, effective.
What is Mindfulness?
Mindfulness is a term often thrown around, but at its core, it is about present-moment awareness. It’s the ability to focus on the here and now, letting go of worries about the future or regrets about the past.
This ability to be in the moment has a strong impact on behavior. When children (or adults) are lost in overwhelming thoughts, it’s harder to control emotional responses. With mindfulness, we can create a “pause button” between emotions and behaviors, giving children the space to make thoughtful choices.
How does mindfulness fit into ABA? Through techniques like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which aligns with our behavioral principles, mindfulness becomes a teachable and proactive way to support emotional regulation. The goal is to create space between a thought (“I’m so frustrated!”) and a reaction (a tantrum, for example), empowering children to choose behaviors that align with their long-term goals and values.
The Role of Modeling
Modeling is essential when teaching children how to calm their minds and bodies. Children naturally look to adults for cues. If we can regulate our emotions, they’re more likely to follow suit.
This means practicing what we preach. If a parent or teacher is stressed and yells when under pressure, it becomes harder to teach a child to remain calm in similar situations. We must become the “thermostat” of the environment, setting a calm tone instead of letting emotions escalate.
Proactive vs. Reactive Teaching
A mistake many make when teaching relaxation is focusing on the moment of crisis. Imagine trying to teach deep breathing to a child in the middle of a meltdown. Odds are, it won’t work. Instead, these skills should be developed proactively when the child is calm and alert. Much like practicing for a fire drill, relaxation techniques should be rehearsed regularly so they feel natural during moments of stress.
For example, deep breathing exercises can be practiced daily during quiet moments. You can guide the child through simple breathing exercises at bedtime, during a break from schoolwork, or even while waiting at a traffic light. The more these are practiced in non-stressful situations, the likelier they are to generalize to real-life challenges
5 Actionable Relaxation Techniques
Here are some practical ways to teach relaxation skills to young children using ABA methods.
1. Deep Breathing
Teaching proper deep breathing techniques can make a significant difference. Encourage the child to inhale deeply, filling their belly like a balloon, hold their breath for a few seconds, and then slowly exhale. To make it engaging, try:
- Flower Breathing is where children pretend to smell a flower (inhale) and blow out a candle (exhale).
- Box breathing is when they imagine slowly drawing the sides of a box with their breath (inhale, hold, exhale, hold).
Use visual aids or demonstrations to ensure they understand. Practice this skill a few times a day to solidify the habit.
2. Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Many learners find it fun to practice being a “robot” and then a “ragdoll.” Have the child tense their body like a stiff robot for 5 seconds and then relax like a floppy ragdoll. This can help them learn the difference between muscle tension and relaxation.
3. Visualization
Guided imagery can transport children to a calm and happy place in their minds. Ask them to imagine a setting they love, like a beach or a park. Encourage them to think about what they see, hear, feel, and smell in that space. Recreate the ambiance for them to anchor to a sense of calm and safety.
4. Mindful Activities
Mindful activities can also be woven into daily routines. During bath time, for instance, encourage children to notice how the water feels on their skin or the patterns of bubbles. Small, age-appropriate mindfulness exercises help them practice being present without realizing it’s part of a teaching lesson.
5. Calming Strategies in Action
When emotions flare, provide simple support to help children regulate. A “calm down corner” in a classroom or home can offer tools like sensory toys, visual breathing guides, or noise-canceling headphones. By practicing mindfulness techniques during low-stress moments, children are more likely to access these tools when emotions run high.
3 Considerations for Teaching Relaxation
Teaching relaxation techniques takes patience and consistency. Keep in mind these key elements:
- Celebrate Effort: It’s not about doing the exercises perfectly but about choosing to try them. Celebrate small victories to build motivation.
- Individualize Strategies: Every child is different. While one child might love deep breathing, another may prefer movement-based relaxation like yoga poses or swaying to calming music.
- Embed in Daily Routines: Relaxation needs to become part of life, not just a response to stress. Lead by example and incorporate these techniques into everyday moments so they become second nature.
Long-Term Benefits for Children (& Adults)
Teaching children how to relax doesn’t just help them in the here and now; it gives them lifelong skills. They’ll grow into adults who can better manage uncertainty, regulate their emotions, and respond thoughtfully to challenges. And as parents and educators practice these techniques themselves, they’ll likely notice their own stress decrease.
Relaxation techniques allow us to teach children that it’s okay to have big emotions. Feeling anxious, angry, or upset is natural. What matters is how we choose to respond. By learning to pause, reflect, and act in alignment with our values, behavior professionals can give learners the tools they need to stay grounded.
