When we talk about ABA, what’s the first word that pops into your head? For many, it’s reinforcement. We live and breathe it. We explain it to families, design entire programs around it, and see its power every single day. Reinforcement is a non-negotiable cornerstone of our science.
But what if we told you there’s another equally powerful element, especially when working with our youngest learners? When we dive into the world of the Early Start Denver Model (ESDM), we find that relationships are just as crucial.
ESDM is an evidence-based, naturalistic intervention designed for young children with autism that beautifully blends the precision of ABA with the warmth of developmental psychology. It reminds us of something that can get lost in the data sheets and progress graphs: the profound importance of human connection. So, let’s explore why relationships matter just as much as reinforcement.
Reinforcement: The Foundation We All Know & Love
As ABA professionals, we know that reinforcement works. It’s the engine of behavior change and how children learn that their actions can make things happen.
In a structured session, we might deliver a reinforcer when a child points to a picture, says a word, or sits for a task. The science is crystal clear: behavior followed by reinforcement is more likely to happen again.
But let’s be honest. Have you ever had a learner who mastered a skill at the table but struggled to use it elsewhere?
A child might learn to request a toy car perfectly when prompted, but if the interaction feels robotic, that skill might never show up on the playground with a friend. That’s the gap where reinforcement alone isn’t enough. And that’s exactly where the relationship-focused magic of ESDM comes in.
Bring the joy back to learning with the Play & Motivation CEU Mastery Bundle — five on-demand CEU sessions that help you use reinforcement, play, and naturalistic teaching to inspire real progress. As an added bonus, we’ve included our Play Scripts product to help you bring structured, naturalistic play into your sessions with ease and creativity. Explore the bundle today!
ESDM’s Big Idea: Learning Happens Through Connection
The Early Start Denver Model doesn’t ditch ABA principles; it incorporates them in responsive and playful interactions. Instead of a child and a therapist working through drills at a table, learning is embedded directly into play, daily routines, and shared fun.
Why does this work so well? Developmental psychology has shown us for decades that young children learn best within the context of loving relationships.
Think about how a typically developing toddler learns to talk. It’s not through flashcards. It’s through countless games of peek-a-boo, silly songs, and joyful back-and-forth babbling with a caregiver. ESDM brilliantly harnesses this natural process for children with autism.
Studies confirm that children are far more likely to pay attention, imitate, and communicate when they feel safe, connected, and genuinely engaged with another person. That social bond becomes the place where reinforcement can truly grow. Without it, reinforcement can feel like a simple transaction instead of an invitation to connect and learn.
Why Does This Balance Matter for the Future?
Ultimately, our goal isn’t just to teach a list of discrete skills. It’s to help children build happy, independent, and connected lives. ESDM reminds us that thriving happens through relationships.
A child who learns that people are sources of joy and comfort is a child who is more likely to communicate, build friendships, and engage with the world around them.
This approach also empowers families. When parents see themselves as playful partners rather than just “reinforcer-deliverers,” they feel more confident and connected. The learning doesn’t stop when the session ends; it continues in every shared laugh and every bedtime story.
Becoming the Reinforcer (Not Just Delivering It)
One of the most amazing things about ESDM is how it transforms our role as practitioners. We shift from being the “giver of goldfish” to becoming a part of the reinforcement itself. Your smile, your laughter, your shared excitement – these become incredibly powerful motivators.
Imagine a child reaches for the bubble wand. Instead of just handing it over as a reinforcer for a correct response, you get down on their level and join in. You blow some bubbles, pause with an excited look of anticipation, and then giggle together as they pop. The activity is fun, sure, but the interaction is what’s truly reinforcing.
Here’s the science: studies show that children are more likely to attend, imitate, and communicate when they feel safe, connected, and engaged with another person. In the long run, this is what fuels spontaneous social skills and a genuine desire to engage with others. Without that connection, reinforcement can feel more like a transaction than an invitation to learn.
Bridging the Science & the Heart
We get it. Sometimes, we worry that focusing on “fluffy” things like relationships means we’re abandoning the data-driven rigor of ABA. But ESDM proves the opposite is true. It builds a solid bridge between the hard science of behavior and the heartfelt understanding of how children grow.
Here’s what the research tells us:
- Joint attention is a game-changer. The ability to share focus with a partner is a huge predictor of future language development. Playful interactions are the perfect training ground for this.
- Positive emotions boost learning. Neuroscience shows that our brains are more receptive to new information when we feel happy and relaxed. Joyful, stress-free interactions literally open the door to learning.
- Social motivation is key to generalization. When a child learns that interacting with others is rewarding in itself, they are more likely to use their skills in new places and with new people.
By weaving reinforcement into relationships, ESDM doesn’t water down ABA; it makes it richer and more effective.
Bring the joy back to learning with the Play & Motivation CEU Mastery Bundle — five on-demand CEU sessions that help you use reinforcement, play, and naturalistic teaching to inspire real progress. As an added bonus, we’ve included our Play Scripts product to help you bring structured, naturalistic play into your sessions with ease and creativity. Explore the bundle today!
6 Practical Tips for Your Sessions
So, how can we bring this balance of reinforcement and relationship into our daily practice? It’s easier than you think!
1. Connect Before You Correct.
Spend the first few minutes of every session just building rapport. Join in on whatever the child is doing and show them you’re there to have fun. This sets a positive tone for everything that follows.
2. Pair Yourself with All the Good Things.
Don’t just hand over a reinforcer; be a part of it. If the child loves music, sing and dance with them. If they’re obsessed with trains, get on the floor and make choo-choo sounds together.
3. Follow the Child’s Lead.
The best teaching moments often come from what the child is already interested in. Use their natural motivation as a springboard for your goals.
4. Amp Up the Fun!
Use exaggerated facial expressions, playful tones, and celebrate every small effort. Your enthusiasm is contagious and shows the child that interacting with you is a blast.
5. Embed Goals into Routines.
Look for natural chances to teach throughout the day. Practice requesting during snack time, labeling toys during clean-up, or taking turns during a game.
6. Be a Flexible Data-Taker.
Data is still crucial, but you don’t have to sacrifice warmth to get it. You can absolutely track progress during natural, play-based interactions.
Reinforcement will always be the bedrock of ABA. But as the Early Start Denver Model shows us, it’s not the whole story. By weaving our science into warm, playful, and responsive interactions, we unlock incredible potential. We move from being dispensers of rewards to becoming true partners in a child’s growth. And that is how we help our learners build the foundation for a rich, meaningful, and connected life.